Introverted Men Must Forge Emotional Armor

Knight giving a rose to lady

I find introversion fascinating.

Probably because the more I learn, the better I understand myself.

And that understanding helps tighten my game.

One thing I’ve learned?

Introverted men are more vulnerable to emotional damage when important relationships end.


Because introverted men live in the kingdom of their minds.

And that means they’re more likely to be obsessive.

Now in some ways, that obsession can equal strength.

When properly focused, it can be beneficial for building a business, getting in shape, writing a book, or learning new skills.

But that same quality can also be dangerous when romantic relationships end.

It’s one reason why breakups can be so traumatic for quiet men – they just have a harder time letting go.

I’ve noticed the tendency myself. Unfortunately, my default response to break-ups is fixation.

Especially if I care about her.

And yes, I’ll still feel like that even when I have other options.

My obsession will manifest in compulsive over-thinking and over-analyzing.

For example, I found myself mulling these pointless questions after my girlfriend left me:

  • Why’d it end?
  • What went wrong?
  • What could I have done differently?
  • How can I get her back?

Yes, some reflection post-breakup is probably healthy.

But after a while, it’s just pointless mental masturbation.

And in some extreme cases, can even be deadly.

Introverted players must protect themselves by forging iron-clad mental armor.

So how can Introverted Playboys avoid these negative behavior patterns?

Here are some practical steps for building an impervious psyche:

1) Survive Heart-break

This may seem counter-intuitive. But it’s vital for introverted men. Find a girl, fall in love with her, and let her break your heart. Don’t kill yourself over it, don’t go on any shooting sprees, and don’t make any big life-changing decision when it ends. Just ride it out. Once you’ve recovered from your heartbreak (and you will), you’ll be better-equipped to deal with women. Getting your heart shattered, then rebuilding it, is an excellent way of building mental strength

2) Limit Emotional Investment

Once over your heart-break, you’ll now be more careful about falling in love. You’ll realize that most women simply don’t deserve it. And you’ll be able to better regulate your level of emotional investment – even when you care. Remember, the person who cares less is always in control of the relationship. And the less you’ve invested in her? The more attractive she’ll find you. Ironic, but win-win.

3) Develop A Tolerance For Beauty

It’s easier to fall for beautiful women. Many guys get suckered in by that pretty face. This can be dangerous, since many attractive western women lack good character. To guard against it you must date progressively hotter women while limiting your emotional involvement. That way you’re used to them, and less likely to fall in love with the wrong one.

4) Build A Solid Emotional Base

Take the time to build a solid emotional foundation. On your own, independent of any relationships. Yes, women can bring joy and happiness to your life. But expecting them to provide you with long-term happiness is naïve. It’s clichéd, but true; real happiness comes from inside you.

5) Avoid Monogamy

No denying it. Fucking multiple girls makes breakups easier to handle. And, it’s a natural oneitis preventer. That’s why introverted guys should learn to date multiple women at once – they can just fall back on their harem when one girl leaves. And that’s vital when going through traumatic break-ups.

6) Never Seek Validation

Never seek validation from women. Yes, enjoy her, revel in your time together. But realize her affections are fleeting and she likely won’t stick around forever. Looking for her approval is a recipe for weakness and sets you up for future pain.

7) Create A Social Safety Net

Ever notice how men seem to take longer to get over breakups? Sure, women get sad too. But girls always seem to bounce back quickly. Why? Females are socially intelligent. They’re usually quite good at maintaining social networks, no matter how superficial. Girls seek solace, refuge, and love from friends and family during hard times. And those safety networks help them recover from breakups more quickly. Learn to do the same.

Introverted players face unique challenges.

But that’s no excuse for weak game.

Know yourself, take action, and forge your own indestructible emotional armor.

Read More: Introverted Man’s Guide To Dating Wild Women

  • Lex Neil

    Nice post spot on. I think introversion is one part of the many aspects
    of someone’s personality. Not sure if you’ve ever seen Josh Pellicer’s
    stuff but he has an mp3 entitled “Playboy in a Day” which goes into
    detail about the 4 different Personality types that people fit into. I
    would go as far as to say that many introverts are also what Pellicer
    describes as ‘Oracles’ and are more inclined to form an attachment to
    their lover. He also has some good stuff about dating multiple women
    that you might be interested in.

  • Halfbreed

    Hey Lex,

    Thanks for the book recommendation, I’ll check that out.

  • Mark Insight

    Hey Halfbreed,

    Just wanted to come by and say your site is looking badass.

    I’ve been there with oneitis (who hasn’t?) with a jaw-dropping beautiful women. And once she found out I liked her, she broke my heart for the fun of it. One of the most painful experiences of my life…

    To note on beautiful women, people’s reaction to them is like approach anxiety, it never really goes away. You can build up some tolerance, but it’ll always be there. But like approach anxiety, deep down you don’t want the emotions to go away, they make you feel alive. I find it is really about learning how to embrace those great emotions, but stay in control of your thoughts and actions. I think that is what a real Alpha does.

    This might interest your readers. I remember reading a study that autistic people respond to and get attached to a beautiful face much more than the average person. Obviously, introverts are not necessarily autistic, but I bet a good amount of them fall somewhere on the spectrum. Something to keep in mind if you feel different from everyone else when it comes to your feelings on beautiful women. Best to know your weaknesses so you can strategize around them.

    Anyway, I think it is good to be aware of these things so no one women has too much control over your life. Being aware is great, but even better, like you said, is to have a social net to fall back on. They’ll help keep things in perspective.


  • Halfbreed


    Thanks for stopping by, appreciate the compliment. I’ve definitely been working to improve the quality around here.

    Yah I’ve been there, it can be easy to fall for pretty ones when you’re young and idealistic. ;)

    You’re right, that’s very interesting. I didn’t know those facts about autistic people & beautiful faces. But it makes sense.

    I wonder, are introverts just high-functioning autistics?