Sixty six percent of Americans are now obese or overweight. That means fat women are everywhere. And online dating sites are overrun by fatties, just like the real world. Fat girls instinctively know men don’t desire them. But did you know that fat women crave attention - just like thin girls? It’s true. And they’ll go to great lengths to hide their weight. Fat women are crafty – don’t be fooled by their trickery. Your life is short; you can’t waste precious time on secret internet fatties (SIFs). Learn to screen them ruthlessly.
Tips for spotting land whales
1) No Body Shots
This is a common fattie indicator. Only women with something to hide don’t have full body pics. Be wary, some fat women have very pretty faces. These types can suck you in and trick you into thinking they’re thin. Remember, women with hot bodies love showing them off to the world.
2) Food References
Food references are generally a bad sign. I miss these sometimes, since I avoid reading profiles. Food references in her user name or in her “things I can’t live without” list are also big fat, red flags.
3) Food Pictures
Obvious, but important enough for a separate category. If she has pictures holding food, eating food, or pretending to eat food then she’s probably shamefully fat. These sorts of pictures are disgusting to look at and also show a lack of class on her part. Gross. Next.
4) No Collarbones
This is a quick way to tell if a girl is fat in a close up shot. Just look for her collarbones. Are they well-defined? Or hidden by flesh? If you cannot see her collarbones, she’s probably fat.
Are you trying to nail down an online date? Think she might be a fat girl, but still can’t be sure?
Screening fatties like a pro, advanced techniques
1) Get Full Body Pics
If you’ve got her number, insist on a recent full-body shot. Hot girls will text you one with no problem. You don’t need naked pictures at first. Just enough to see her figure. If she refuses to text or email pics? Cancel the date right away.
2) Stalk Her Online
Facebook friend her before the first date. Look at her most recent shots. Is she fat? If so, delete her and cancel the date immediately.
3) Fat-Proof Your Profile
The last line of my profile clearly states that I refuse to date fat girls. Yes, it comes off as arrogant and cocky, but it hasn’t kept me from getting laid. Sometimes I might get sloppy and accidentally send an opener to a SIF. Once she reads that line, she knows better than to email me back.
Dating sites allow a woman to pick her body type. What a mistake. Of course, women lie. Learn to decode body types:
- Average = Chunky
- Curvy = Fat
- A Little Extra = Obese
- Overweight = Behemoth
Stick to girls who describe themselves as “skinny,” “fit,” “jacked,” or “athletic.” Be open-minded though – on rare occasions you may find a curvy, voluptuous girl who isn’t actually fat.
Conclusion, reader comments
Some men hate online dating. But if done right, it can be great way to bang attractive women – especially for introverted men. So, don’t be discouraged by secret internet fatties! Just learn to hunt properly. Armed with the knowledge from this post, you’ll soon be adept at avoiding the wily SIF.
Need more tips on avoiding SIFs? See the reader comments below…
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